Ridiculous
by blinnn
Summary: Blaine refuses to get out of bed and Kurt is beyond annoyed. He calls in reinforcements.


_**Author's Note:** Based on a recent spoiler - but the story itself is not spoiler-y_

* * *

><p>"Blaine! <em>Please<em> just-"

"NO!"

Kurt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. Blaine was set in his ways and Kurt is frustrated. He'd had enough of this attitude that Blaine had just recently adopted. They'd been arguing back and forth for an hour now and Kurt was just _tired_ of it.

"Blaine. I called Finn and Rachel. They should be here any second. If you aren't going to listen to me, at _least_ listen to them."

Blaine grumbled, flipping himself over on his mattress so that he was facing away from Kurt. He mumbled something under his breath that Kurt couldn't make out, but made him roll his eyes regardless.

"You're ridiculous."

"Then, you should just _go away, _if I'm soooo 'ridiculous'." The last word escaped his mouth mockingly.

Kurt glared at Blaine's back, hoping that he may somehow develop super-powers and be able to like _zap_ him on the behind or something. That'd show him.

Kurt heard muffled voices growing closer by the second and before he could process them, Finn and Blaine tumbled through the door of Blaine's bedroom.

"Oof!" Rachel exclaimed, trying to regain her balance. "Blaine's parents are a bit... pushy."

Kurt scrunched his face, "Yes, well... with a brat for a son, who can blame them?" Three pairs of eyes studied Blaine's figure and watched as he folded his arms across his torso at the words.

Instantly, Kurt felt a twinge of regret, but his anger returned at full force when he heard Blaine mutter a small offering of, "Yeah, _I'm_ the brat."

"Yes, Blaine. You _are_ the brat in this scenario, okay? Stop being so..."

"Ridiculous?" Blaine suggested bitterly.

Kurt groaned, "Do you _see_ what I've been putting up with?" He speaks to Finn and Rachel, who are just staring, wide-eyed, in shock.

Kurt and Blaine never fight like this, and they honestly have no idea the cause of it, but it must be big to involve his _parents_. They were scared, if they were being honest. Finn especially, having seen what anger does to Blaine.

It makes him... incredibly... feisty, Finn recalls.

Rachel steps forward, walking toward the bed before sitting on it, placing a hand on Blaine's pajama clad thigh. "Blaine, sweetie... what's wrong?"

Blaine takes a deep breath before answering tersely, "Ask Kurt."

Rachel spares a glance at Kurt, who sighs deeply, fingers massaging his temples. "Blaine, we don't have _time_ for your silly little pride games."

Abruptly, Blaine flings himself around to glare at his boyfriend, "Is that what you think this is? A _pride_ thing?"

"Well, what else _could_ it be, Blaine?"

He laughed, but it was obvious that nothing about this was humorous. "You should all just... just _go_."

Finn's chest tightened as he looked between his step-brother and the boy on the bed. They were so _not_ Kurt and Blaine right now and he just wanted it all to go back to normal.

"Kurt-"

"Finn, please..." Kurt interrupted, "I called you both over here so you could help me get this- this- _idiot_ out of bed. Will you please say something to Blaine?"

Finn furrowed his eyebrows, unaware of why Kurt was being so rude to him, when all he wanted to do _was_ help.

"Kurt, don't you think-" He stopped himself, he wasn't sure exactly how to word this without Kurt going off on him. "Don't you think, maybe you're being a bit_harsh_?"

Kurt gaped at him, "Are you seriously taking his side? I'm your _brother, _Finn."

Rachel, realizing that this was going in exactly the wrong direction it should be, piped up, "Boys, boys..." She stood, moving between the two of them, "No need to cause unnecessary troubles." She turned to Kurt, "Kurt, dear, maybe... maybe we could help a little more if we knew... what was going _on_?"

"Blaine." Kurt called, as if passing the question over to him.

Blaine just glared at the ceiling in response.

Kurt huffed, "Fine! I came over here to pick Blaine up for a lovely evening of..._romance,_" Kurt explained, his cheeks reddening a bit at his words. "and when I got here, Blaine refused to leave his bed. I've been trying to get him out of there ever since."

Rachel and Finn looked at each other, completely perplexed.

"Dude, why don't you wanna go on your date?" Finn asked the now motionless lump on the bed.

Blaine glanced at Finn, giving him a once over before shifting uncomfortably on the mattress. "I can't leave."

A pause, "... May we ask, 'Why not?'" Rachel requested, her tone sweet and hopeful.

"I'd rather not say..." Blaine murmured into the air.

"He's afraid he's not going to be able to get it up, jesus christ."

_"Kurt!"_

_"Dude!"_

_Gasp!_

The three sounds simultaneously escaped the other's mouths.

"What? _You're_ the ones who wanted to know." He directed at Rachel and Finn. "Blaine, get out of that bed, change out of your pajamas, and stop being so_dumb_."

Blaine's face was beet red, and the air was thick with tension. The look on Finn's face was somewhere between horrified and nauseous.

"I did not need a mental image of my brother and his boyfriend getting it on." He spoke low, mostly to himself.

"Not to be... nosy... or anything," Rachel started, delicately, "but... is this concern... warranted?"

"I think I need to leave." Finn said before letting himself out of the room.

Blaine let out a breath, seemingly thankful for Finn's departure.

"Yes." "No."

Blaine and Kurt answered, respectively, at the same time.

"Which is it?"

"_Yes_." Blaine urged on, ignoring the roll of Kurt's eyes. "The last time we- well, we-"

"Recently, Blaine's parents have been home a lot more, and we got tired of worrying whether they'd walk in on us. And we can't very well do anything any my house; my father would skin Blaine alive." Kurt paused, and Blaine grimaced at the thought, "So last week, we decided go out. Find a quiet, secluded spot, and we'd have all the time and privacy we need."

"But... when we... found a place, and got- got _down_ to it. I- I couldn't..."

"I see." Rachel took over when Blaine didn't finish the sentence. "Well, then it's natural that Blaine would be... _worried_ about that sort of thing, Kurt. Don't you agree?"

"Obviously not." Kurt glared at his boyfriend. "Just because it happens once, doesn't mean it's going to happen again."

Blaine scoffs but Rachel speaks again, "_True_, but it is possible that it will. Especially-" She cuts herself off, her face alight with an idea, "Boys. I have a solution."

They both looked at her then, their mouths set into hard lines, due to stubbornness.

"Okay. So, the problem here seems to be... the _location. _Blaine, I assume, has had no previous problems... performing in bed?"

Blaine nods in approval.

"Right! So, it seems to me, that his body is reacting this way because, even though it is a secluded and _seemingly_ private area that you are partaking in such acts, Blaine's mind is preventing him from fully functioning because it's a public place. Blaine obviously is not one for exhibitionism."

Kurt's mouth drops open at the ease of Rachel's ability to talk so openly about sexual _kinks_. "So, what do you propose we _do_?"

"Well, since I'm such a great friend, and Finn is such a wonderful brother, we're going to take your father and Carole along with us for dinner and a movie tonight."

"You- you'd do that for us?" Blaine asked.

"Of _course_, you're my favorite boys -besides Finn and my dads, of course- I just want you to be happy." She nodded vigorously.

"Wow, Rachel. Thank you, really."

"Yeah, thanks, Rachel!" Blaine added jovially, all anger dissipating quickly.

"Great!" She clapped her hands together. "Now, I'll leave so Blaine can get dressed and make sure that Finn doesn't do something rash." She finished, bounding out of the room at once.

Blaine finally let his feet touch ground and in a moment Kurt wrapped his arms round his neck, claiming his lips with his own.

"Umnnph hrrmm," Blaine's words were muffled by the soft skin of Kurt's lips.

Kurt pulls away, breathing heavily, "Say again?" He laughed.

"I'm sorry..."

Kurt opened his eyes then, blue-green meeting honey-brown, "I'm sorry too. I _was_being a brat."

"Damn right you were."

"Hey!" He laughed, shoving Blaine's shoulder.

"Why do you think she's really doing this?" Blaine glanced to the door.

"Maybe she, unlike my oaf of a step-brother, _likes_ the idea of us being... intimate... with each other."

"Hmm..." Blaine seemed to consider the idea, "I know _I_ certainly like it." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Kurt just snorts.

"You're-"

"Ridiculous?" Blaine grinned.

Kurt rolled his eyes for the nth time that night. This time, however, it was playful; light. "Yes. No put some clothes on, you ridiculous boy." He responded, pulling away from Blaine.

"But you're only going to take them off." His eyes darkened.

Kurt's breath caught in his throat. Blaine definitely had the ability to render him completely breathless. "N- not the point."

Blaine pouted animatedly, "But I like my pajamas!"

"I'll never understand how you go from sex-oozing animal to adorable five-year-old in two seconds flat. It's kind of disturbing."

Blaine let out a maniacal laugh, "I'll never reveal my secrets!" He waved his hands vaguely, as if to create the illusion that he was some sort of magical being. Kurt thought that... maybe he _was_.

Kurt threw Blaine a pair of pants and a shirt from his dresser. "I hate you."

"You _love_ me." He said, catching the clothes easily.

"Maybe." And he was gone, leaving Blaine to smile giddily at himself as he changed.

He nodded, "He loves me."


End file.
